CasuallyPear

This is going to be a weird video. Let me give you some context, this video is sponsored by Amazon. Yeah, I don't know either. Some poor guy at the marketing team was like I know the perfect person for the job, he's uh, he's a Youtuber his name is uh Mark Rober and they got my phone number by mistake. More specifically it's sponsored by The Boys season 2 on Amazon Prime Video which is a great show that I watched long before I got in contact with them. Then Michal what's the problem. They have some really weird things they want me to do and I can't do those things without making a video that's well, cringe. I kind of have to make them think that I'm doing the video they want. I don't want to say tricking Amazon, [TRICKING AMAZON (into thinking I made their weird laser baby video)]. "In order to deceive a multi-million dollar company, you must first understand what they want" - sun tzu. Good thing they sent us what we want in this storyboard from their marketing team. Amazon wants me to build like a baby doll toy that shoots lasers out of its eyes because there's a scene from season one of The Boys where Butcher picks a baby superhero out of the crib and uses his laser eyes to fucking cut two people in half. It's badass. Okay, what ever, lets move on. Scroll the roony down to where things get problematic. Oh, Michal goes around the house lasering things. Lighting candles, giving people haircuts with the laser, burning paper. They want me to put a high-powered laser in the baby. NO. I cant do that. Do you think I just keep high-powered laser diodes in my ass. Do you know how long the manufacturer takes to fucking "huck" on of those bad boys on a ship and barge it all the way to the United States. So that's right, we have to use lies and deceit. But here is the kicker, Michel goes on a high octane action sequence with his baby laser mowing down a series of henchmen played by his friends. Yeah, whatever whatever, they want me to recreate the baby laser from The Boys. Have you fucking seen the baby laser scene (Proceeds to show the baby laser scene). They get fucking cut in half hello. HOW. how do I replicate that huh. Um, can you make it totally safe for your friends to get lasered by. I guess for number 3 we are also using a lot of deception. Logical step one, get a baby. This one came with hair. The one in the show does not have hair so we gotta fix that right up (Shaves baby) oh. Aaand now it looks like a testicle. And now I gotta find a way to fit these laser diodes into his head. But honestly, spending this much time with a baby makes me want to keep it safe. It's like some deep paternal instinct just woken inside of me to try to protect it. But you know I got a video so we got to get in that little noggin of his (Casually tightens baby to table and cut its head open). Never want to do anything like that again. FUCK I HAVE TO DRILL HOLes for the laser. How do you think you get lasers inside a baby huh. How are they going to come out of the head without fucking holes in the eyes. (Drills screw in the back of baby's neck) *Softy: I'm sorry. And just like that we have a bonified laser baby with a couple extra features I worked in there but that our little secret. But before I show you what it can do, Amazon sent us a little, one sec (climbs over table). Amazon sent me like a promotional package for The Boys season 2. They sent them to youtubers to get them like exited for the show, I just want to know what's inside. Oh that cool, it's like a little baby model from the show. This season really comes out September 4th huh I got no time to finish this video. Wait is that a laser baby, WHAT THE FUCK WHY AM I BUILDING YOU A LASER BABY HUH WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BUILD YOUR OWN FUCKING LASER BA-. Oh I get it, you just put LEDs in the eyes. I will show you a laser baby. (Sets fake laser baby at a mildly far distance) Time to die buddy (Laser baby gets set on fire). Yeah, yeag oh my god, I have better baby. You think that's a good laser baby, na na na na, this is the better baby. And it's so on fire. Whoa whoa whoa, hold the fucking phone. Michael, didn't you just put low power laser diodes into that baby? And uh yeah, I kinda did. Well then how is it lighting the other baby on fi- DECEPTION. Kind of. If you cant have a high powered laser, you need to have a high powered target. Which is where this comes in. The laser activated system activated by Revees. Or laser for short wai-.